And Mary, in the case of contracting the virus for herpes, I can only imagine that your Gremlin is yelling at the top of her lungs.Let's take a look at some more helpful perspectives to the unhelpful judgments of The Gremlin: GREMLIN: You are so careless! YOU: Although it's unfortunate and not something I would ever wish on anyone, it's not the worst thing that could happen.When and how to reveal the "herpes secret" is a top of mind question for anyone who has contracted the virus.I wish I had the space to cover this topic on this blog post (but I'm already way over).This is where I feel a little concerned, and not from a coaching or therapy perspective (that has to do with helping you find a more supportive outlook), but from a physical health standpoint.I've conferred with my partner Todd (who is a physician) and I've read (as I'm sure you have) numerous websites about the typical symptoms of herpes.However, I also feel that the pertinent thing to keep in mind here is that the symptoms you are having are not "normal" (without trying to make you feel "abnormal").According to Web MD.com: You may never notice symptoms from an HSV infection.
To address your question about not wanting to pass this painful virus onto someone else, I completely understand.Dear Colette, my question is a bit "heavy" and I hope you are willing to help me with it, because it is totally messing with my body, my heart, my head, with my confidence, with my ability to believe that it's possible for anyone to ever love me again, or ever want to risk being with me because of the physical and psychological impact.I wish it weren't true, but I have contracted the virus for genital herpes.When symptoms occur soon after a person is infected, they tend to be severe.They may start as small blisters that eventually break open and produce raw, painful sores that scab and heal over within a few weeks.On the other hand, you might notice symptoms within a few days to a couple of weeks after the initial contact.Or you might not have an initial outbreak of symptoms until months or even years after becoming infected.And, one of the greatest dichotomies is that the VERY thing, for me, that demonstrates my true love for a man is to have an intimate sexual relationship with him.I've given myself to very few men over the years, and one of these very few men (who happens to be married, but we are in an open relationship together with his wife's consent, we are essentially "friends with benefits"); well, he was someone that I've always believed cared for me. And what makes this whole situation even worse is that he TOLD me he had it and I didn't take any precautions to protect myself. I've even told my friends that "he didn't know he had it" because I can't even admit to myself that I didn't look out for myself the way I should have.It can be spread from one partner to another even when there are NO noticeable symptoms on the part of either partner.Since many people engage in oral sex without the use of condoms or dental dams, getting genital herpes from oral sex is increasingly common.