I am trying to be patient as he's asked me to do so.
I guess I just worry that this will be yet another relationship that just hurts in the end and was a waste of time. I've waited with marriage until I found someone I was really in love with. His two beautiful daughters I've come to love as my own. You might be happy now, but it's NOT worth the possible heartache. Hi Troe -I just stumbled upon this website looking for advice on my relationship. It was love at first sight and we have been head over heels in love ever since. He usually has them on the weekends and some weeknights and I am never asked to join.
Money was always tight because of his child support. What do you want in life I never thought about it then, but I think about it everyday now. LOL...seems like decades ago when I wrote about my story here. Someone once told me if a man really loves you hell move heaven and earth for you. If hes putting you on the back burner for other things then its not love its convience for them.
The excuse well I got kids so youll always be second is lame.
In my opinion only, it MAY be that he is just not comfortable enough with your relationship yet to involve his kids heavily. Try to be very understanding and have a long talk with him to express your concerns. I have spent time (dinner...3 times) with the 15 yr old daughter and met the 10 yr old son.
Also, depending upon the situation with his ex, he may have concerns that she may not agree with his choices and try to make it more difficult for him to see his kids. He and their mother have been divorced for 3 1/2 years.
I'm hurt because I give him everything and I want him to be a part of my entire life, not just pieces. I am dating a very recently divorced man with 3 kids who is 12 years older than me. He is so good to me, I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend when we're together. I know he wants a smooth transition for the kids, but I am left feeling lonely, sad and left out.
I feel that if he loves me like he says he does then he should feel and do the same. I think that being with a divorced guy with kids really depends on the situation. I include him in all aspects of my life: I got him on my softball team, he's met/hung out with my friends multiple times, he's met my family, I invite him everywhere. I am dating a man with 2 sons from his ex-wife and a daughter with his ex-gf.
This is more about how long you want to wait rather than when he's supposed to decide. He was with his last gf for 5 years and never got married.
What's hard is that I know my parents aren't happy with my situation and they feel like I should find somebody who 1) isn't divorced and 2) doesn't have kids. but his children arent lol i tried so hard to be accepted by them .. and i dont really care anymore .husband is a great father .. but i always have to compromise and be understanding that im not the only one in his life ... It really helps that it's anonymous because I got comments from friends that they would not say to my face. He gets his children every other weekend and on those weekends, I don't see him nor am I invited to do things with them.
I respect that they are concerned about me and my situation but can't they just be happy that I'm happy right now? consider that and watch how close your guy with his children and watch the character of those children .your choice .. I also am in a relationship with a fella with 3 kids, I have 4 and can make it work, but he is having difficulty, he says they come first and me 2nd. Using this, I decided what to do about my relationship and have been very happy with my decision. I am dating a recently divorced man with 3 children. I have only been around them twice and both times things went well, but we've been dating now for 8 months and still I've only been around them twice. But, If he doesn't have that desire to include me in ALL of his life, have me go places with them (even once a month) then how do I know if this is actually going somwhere?
It your happy right now, you should keep going with it. I feel like I am not included in the most important aspect of his and it hurts. I am an Asian, we don't believe in divorce and that sort of thing. I am in this dilemma as I am also not sure if we will have a good future together...he's hesitant to get married and not so sure of having another child.
Just remember that it is still the beginning and you might not end up with him anyway. Troe1113, I realize that the situations are not exactly the same, but you could be in for a long wait and not even know if he's going to involve you or not with his kids. We talk about it often but nothing has changed and he keeps telling me to be patient. I am 33 yrs old, never been married and want children of my own.